{.. Enough is Enough (APRIL 30) ..}

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Just Tell Me What's Going On! Is that to much to ask?
One Minute he's all over me and the next he's pushing me away!
i just... CANT believe this is happening again!
Why do i i keep doing this to myself?
I Must be a masochist or something!

Wow... writing this i realize... I was in an S & M relatiionship with someone i wasnt even committed too...


In LOVE relationships, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. IN FACT, it's a common belief that a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having... To some... pain implies growth. But how do we know when the growing pains stop and the "pain-pains" take over?

Are we masochists or optimists, if we continue to walk the fine line? When it comes to relationships how do you know enough is enough?

"why is it so hard for you to factor me in your life in any real way!? You said you loved me.."
"I do."
"Then why does it HURT so FUCKING much?!"

I was furious... not with him... but with myself. I was the REAL sadist. He might have been the one with the whip, but i was the one who tied myself up. Tied myself to a man who was terrified of being vulnerable and in love...


I went to bed at 1am... and was still awake at 3:30...

Did i ever really love him... or was i addicted to the pain.. the equisite pain of wanting someone that was dangerous for me

I finally reached my limit and just like that, i have untied myself from him. I was free...

but there was nothing exquisite about it..

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