{.. Comedian! ..)

"Yeah im a vegetarian... i just eat beef pork and chicken"

"do you know what they do to chicken?"

"no but it sure tastes good!.. but i dont eat fish! eww thats just disgusting!.... how do you know if i fish goes bad? it smells the same either way! i mean cmon why is eating fish with the heads still attached still in anyways? doesnt it feel like that one eye is staring you? its like its saying "Oh is it ok if i watch you eat my body.. oh and dont be distracted if a tear comes out... you can console your self and say its butter..." man"

"::gasp:: i like fish!.... wouldnt that be awkward if a fish was in this room tonight? outside he would be laughing but inside... he would be sad.... jerk"

"Easter now thats a wierd holiday.... the day jesus rose from the dead! what are we going to do?"

"How about eggs?"

"Eggs? But that has nothing to do with jesus"

"So we'll hide em..."

"I...... I dont understand your logic..."

"Dont worry we got a bunny"

"See i believe everyone is weird now i know your thinking "Hey at least im not wierd as megan" and im thinking "hey at least im not as wierd as the people in the loony bin.." and the people in the looney bin are thinking "hey at least im an orange!" i know i know.. i like to make people nervouse... thats why i talk about jesus"

"oh she better not....."

NEXT!

"omgoodness wouldnt it be awkward if you were mary and you were telling joeseph that you were pregnant?:
'Joseph? ummm... i have something to tell you.....'
'yeah.'
'You know how we've never made love?'
'YEAHHHH!'
"Well...... last night.... i uhh...... an angel came into my room... and.. im pregnat!'
'Jesus Christ!'
'Oh good... you already know!'
It must've been really funny watching Jesus open his birthday presents...
'Here you go jesus!'
'oh... thanks... socks!..... hmm... yeah do you remember that im dying for your sins on a painful cross... ring any bells?... but thanks! socks!'
haha hilarious."

"omgoodness.. i was just offended in to many levels"

hehe ok im done.. the guy was hilarious.. i love it!